This is going to be a bit of a rant. This is the only place to do it because some of my family members are on Facebook so I can't rant there :)
Any one else struggle to make EVERYONE happy for Christmas? To contort yourself in a box to make others happy or satisfy some one else? Come on, raise your hand..You know you want to!
Over the last several years, we have had our whole family Christmas celebration (4 brothers wives kids etc) a week before Christmas to accommodate one family my youngest brothers family. They have the only small kids left in the family so a few years ago my sister in law said she did not want to take the kids two places so they would not be joining us on Christmas eve or Christmas day. Now I understand wanting to create your own traditions with your kids and have family time. It is super important. But she will not concede any time for us over time with her family. And apparently, she wears the pants in her family.
So, I changed the date for the family gig from the 19th to Christmas eve to better suit the majority of the family. We extended an invite but they declined because the kids are in a Christmas play at church in the evening and it would be too much for them to spend the morning with us and church at night. (Don't get me started on having Christmas programs on Christmas eve at church) My sister in law's comment was, do what you need to do, our feelings won't be hurt. What she fails to realize is it hurts our feelings she does not seem to want to be with us. And my brother really needs to grow a pair, seriously.
I can no longer extend and change and contort our entire family's Christmas for the sake of one who will not bend or come our way at all.
So, you can't make them all happy and I have be ok with that and quit trying.