Wednesday, March 10, 2010

R.S.V.P. & Thank you

In planning this wedding shower for my besties daughter, I realize that good manners are not easily come by. When asked to respond by a specific date for the shower in which 40 were invited, 10 responded to me. 18 responded to the brides mother via text, facebook personal contact etc. The rest? Nothing at all. I am amazed at people's lack of courtesy in replying a timely manner for what is a catered tea and a firm number is needed. Second, responding to the brides mom rather than the person on the invitation. My bestie ended up calling some of these guests which defeats the purpose. I guess I will be sure next time I am invited to an event I take the time to respond appropriately.

Another lost art in my opinion, is a thank you card for a gift given. Last Christmas we sent my nephew a camp stove. Not a cheap gift by any means, cost us $120.00! We never heard from he or his wife if they liked it or not. It really hurt our feelings as we spent more on him than anyone else and knew it was something they wanted for camping. Still, to this day since Christmas 08, not a word. So guess what? No gift this last Christmas for them we just sent a card. I love to invest in my nieces and nephews, but I will not continue to if I am not given at least a simple thank you.

So tell me, am I taking an unreasonable stance or do I have a leg to stand on here?


  1. OOOH Suz - you and I. We would so be tight if we lived by each other. I plan 4 birthday parties a year. And usually only 1 or 2 people from each party R.S.V.P.'s. It is *the worst. But the thank you notes, I'm not usually as strict on. I let my kids do it for family by phone call. And I have certain friends who we agree that a thank you at the event is plenty. But for everyone else there is a handwritten thank you note.

    How can you plan a party without knowing how many people are coming. Grr. I was wondering how the planning was going :)

  2. You know Linds, a call from my nephew would have been fine. I get it, they are busy, but nothing? Did not sit well with me.
    The shower is Sunday and I still had people calling me today! I think we are finalized at 36, hope it is fun will be glad when it is done.

  3. You have both legs to stand on. I am amazed by the lack of common courtesy that is displayed these days. I cannot imagine not RSVPing to an event. And not saying 'thank you' for a gift, either by hand written note, email or phone call is just rude to the max. I lucked out with the last party I threw for someone (in 2008), I sent out 50 invites and 48 people RSVP'd that they were either going to come, or could not make it. I was so surprised!

  4. I hate it when people don't RSVP - how can you plan? I've noticed that kids don't say please and thank you anymore. Manners never go out of style!

  5. You are not being unreasonable, not at all.
    RSVPs and Thank You notes are a must. In my world, anyways.

    I think a lot of the lack of good manners comes from a general sense of entitlement that seems to have taken over people (from Western countries).